


I am dust and dirt and nothing more

by ribbitaxel33



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (for now) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But he keeps his green mouth shut, Canonical Character Death, Darth Maul Needs a Hug, Darth Maul Redemption, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Just his legs, M/M, Maul is Bad At Feelings, Maul is pissed off, Maul just needs someone to treat him gentle, Maul's dick doesn't get cut off, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan feels bad, Obi-Wan finds Maul, Obi-Wan learns how to do that, Obimaul - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Qui-Gon Approves, Sidious tries to fuck things up as usual, That's for later though, Yoda knows whats up, and its a long time coming too, but eventually he gets his ass clapped, but so is Obi-Wan, just let the boys heal PLEASE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28666254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribbitaxel33/pseuds/ribbitaxel33
Summary: The years stretch on following the death of his beloved master, but Obi-Wan cannot shake the memory of that sith from his mind. As he struck the Zabrak down, he open his mental shields fully and let Obi-Wan feel his entire force presence along with all the pain and the suffering held inside of him. He could never forget that. Sometimes it felt as though it were still there, when out on missions in the outer rim or somehow threads of it occasionally popped up on Coruscant. Obi-Wan never knew quite how until he stops to refuel his ship on Lotho Minor.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62





	1. Tell Me About Despair

Obi-Wan stands solemnly before the fire, watching the flames as they encase his masters deceased form. He has not spoken since Qui-Gon had died in his arms in the power generator. With Master Jinn no longer there to train the boy from Tatooine the responsibility has fallen upon Obi-Wan. He is unsure of himself as he looks down at the child beside him. 

Anakin raises his head to meet the newly knighted Jedi and asks, “What will happen to me now?”

Obi-Wan’s heart aches as he responds, “The council has granted me permission to train you,” He takes a deep breath, ”You will be a Jedi, I promise.” Obi-Wan turns his head back to the flames willing himself not to let a tear fall. Those last words of his, an echo what his master had said to him on Bandomeer years before.

The rest of the evening and next day went by in a blur of congratulations and condolences. It felt all wrong to Obi-Wan, to be here amidst all this celebration when all he really wanted to do was return to his quarters and release his grief. He thinks back to a few days prior when Qui-Gon and told the council Obi-Wan was ready for his trials, he had agreed although inwardly he thought himself ill prepared. If he hadn't thought himself ready for his trails, he certainly wasn't ready for this. 

A voice pulls him out of his thoughts again, “Knight Kenobi, I would like to thank you for the great service you have done for my planet,” Obi-Wan looks up to see the Chancellor before him, “And my heart goes out to you for the loss of your master. It must be very hard losing someone so close to you.”

“It has been,” Obi-Wan sighs, “but I shall go on,” He says with regret in his voice as he reaches for his padawan braid, realizing it was no longer there on his shoulder where it had been for so many years. It hurt him a bit that Qui-Gon was not the one who cut his padawan braid at his knighting, so as a token to him he had laid the braid on Qui-Gon’s chest and let it burn with his body. The Chancellor turned away to leave and Obi-Wan was alone again.

The following day Obi-Wan and Anakin left Naboo to return to the Jedi temple on Coruscant. They arrived in the city just before nightfall. Obi-Wan led Anakin back to what was formerly his and Qui-Gon’s quarters and sent him to sleep in his bed. He would never admit it out loud but he wanted to be the one to sleep in Qui-Gon’s old bed, at least until his masters comforting scent faded away. 

Once Anakin had fallen asleep, Obi-Wan left the quarters and quietly made his way to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Qui-Gon had often gone there when feeling troubled, so it became instinct for Obi-Wan to do the same. He made his way to a familiar and soft patch of grass surrounded by some trees and attempted to meditate, but found he was unable to focus. Nevertheless he decided to stay there for a while. The young man ended up weaving a small flower crown, an activity that he had done with Qui-Gon in the past. Doing something meticulous with his hands always had helped him to find his center. 

Once the delicate ring of flora was complete, Obi-Wan looked up from it at the bright full moon above him. Hesitantly, he closed his eyes and whispered, “I miss you, master,” out into the night. He stood up and began to walk back to his quarters.

Upon returning, he placed the flower crown on the window sill next to Qui-Gon’s collection of plants and made his way into the bedroom to sleep. Obi-Wan changed into his sleep clothes and got almost all the way to his masters bed when the closet door caught his eye. It was open, which wasn’t too unusual, but he went to close it anyway. 

He had his hand on the knob, but something stopped him. He reopened the door and took one of Qui-Gon’s robes off a hanger and wrapped it around himself. The robe was massive on his skinny frame, but in all honesty, that’s what Obi-Wan needed right now. He held the fabric close and tried to drink in every last drop of comfort he could from it. As he took the fabric away from his face he noticed that it had gotten wet. He raised his hand to his face and felt hot tears running down. Force, he didn’t even remember starting to cry. 

He closed the closet door again and went to the fresher to wash his face. After his face was clean and dry again, Obi-Wan slipped himself into Qui-Gon’s bed, still in his robe, and he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd just start writing something on here for fun since I read so much. I've been really into Obimaul works lately and I wanted to write one for myself. Hope you those of you who find it end up liking it. Thank you for reading if you've made it all the way down here. <3


	2. The Fire Burns Under Me

Before Maul knew what was happening the young Jedi before him had vaulted his way out of the melting pit, summoning his fallen master's lightsaber to his hand. Before he could react he was the one falling down the shaft. For a fleeting moment he looked up with wide eyes, but thinking quickly he raised his mental shields. 

The sith let all of his anger and pain ring out louder than they ever had and focused all of it on that brat, Kenobi. He saw, with satisfaction, the man stumble back with the new weight of the force around them. Though he knew he had lost this round, with that small victory Maul let his eyes slip shut the rest of the way down. 

Once the Zabrak regained consciousness, he realized that he was unaware of his current whereabouts. He opened his eyes and took in his uncomfortable surroundings and to his dismay, he found himself in the garbage chute. Maul recalled the events leading up to this and boiled with anger. “That sithforsaken Jedi cut my legs off!” he fumed. As the words left his lips he recognized the still burning pain where his limbs had been severed. His thighs were throbbing and blood was slowly oozing out of his cauterized wounds. 

Muttering to himself, Maul barely noticed as things began to move around him. Before he knew it, he had been dumped out with the rest of the trash into some rancid junkyard. He knew that he was no longer on Naboo considering that he could no longer feel the daunting presence of his master. At least not as closely as he would have been able to had he still been on Naboo. 

Taking notice of a small outcropping within the dunes of garbage, Maul dragged himself towards the opening to seek shelter. Unbeknownst to him the spot would send him tumbling downward into an underground cave. As he reached the bottom, after being unceremoniously sent tumbling down a hole for the second time, he grabbed pieces of scrap metal from the ground and threw them at the cave wall, cursing in his fit of momentary rage. 

Maul’s injuries stung violently from all of the dirt and unsanitary materials they had been rubbing against during the days spent on the planet he now knew to be Lotho Minor. He had emerged from his cave a handful of times to scavenge for food and find scrap metal to build new legs from. The sith was strong and it was engraved in his psyche to show no weakness, but he still had half a brain to cover his wounds before they got anymore infected than he knew they already were.

After a few rotations passed he began to feel the presence of his master getting stronger. Continuing to grow until one morning, or evening for that matter, it was difficult to keep track spending so much time underground, Maul awoke from fitful sleep to a swift kick in his abdomen. He looked up to see his master, Darth Sidious, standing above him. He inhaled sharply, “Master, I-,” He began before receiving another hard kick in his side.

“You have failed me. That is what you have done.”

“But master, I killed the knight as you asked of me.” 

“And yet you were unable to kill his measly little padawan? Weren’t you, apprentice?” Sidious spoke down menacingly, “Because of that failure of yours Padawan Kenobi has been knighted.”

“Master, I gravely apologize. I will make no such mistake on my next assignment.” Maul replied, respectfully.

“There will not be any ‘next assignment’, not for you,” shots of white-hot pain seared from Maul’s center to each of his remaining extremities as his master aimed force lightning at him. “I renounce you,” Sidious declared as he sent one last painful jolt of electricity through the writhing Zabrak and turned away, walking out of the cave. Maul’s eyes slipped closed again as he fell unconscious into a dreamless sleep, the pain of his injuries throbbing painfully in rhythm with the beating of his hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Chapter 2! I never thought that writing could actually be so rewarding and I'm very happy I started doing this. Also, side note, the chapters will start getting longer soon. Chapter 4 will probably be where they start getting to be real chapter length.


	3. Interlude: Of the Mind and Body

The years stretch on following the death of his beloved master, but Obi-Wan could never fully shake the memory of that sith from his mind. The newly knighted Jedi had stepped up and trained young Anakin as his master had asked of him with his dying breath. 

There were times it felt as though the menacing presence of the Zabrak from Naboo was not far from him. It would stop him in his tracks every time, freeze the blood in his veins, but as soon as it surfaced it would disappear. 

Since his quite untraditional knighting, much had occurred in Kenobi’s life. A war had begun, Anakin had taken his trials and was now a knight, Obi-Wan even had a grand padawan. The man had people congratulating him left and right about being on the Jedi high council and being a celebrated war hero. Despite that, Obi-Wan would think to himself, “I wonder if Master Qui-Gon would be proud of me too.” 

Off on Lotho Minor, Maul was still stuck, legless, on the trash heap of a planet. Known to the locals as The Spider. With each day that passed, his mind deteriorated more. The Zabrak’s manic thoughts always centered around that Jedi, Kenobi. 

He would spend hours scouring his name into the cave walls with his bare claws in every language he knew. In basic, in Mando’a, in Dathomiri, and in every other tongue he could think of. Maul swore that one day Kenobi would pay for what he had done to him. 

His great pain and anger aside, the former sith wasn’t too stubborn as to not construct himself new legs. A quite unconventional set as they were, but a set nonetheless. Maul collected scrap metal and wiring for maybe a year before he had enough, and when he did he pieced together these grotesque arachnid-looking limbs. They jutted out at odd angles and would sometimes hurt the scarred skin on his leg nubs, but the man could walk so it was concluded that mobility was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay, they get to see each other again soon!
> 
> Also i wrote this during class so its not great and ill probably edit it a bit later.


End file.
